Feel it in the air

Today is Halloween. Not really a big deal. Just another day, but yet its the doorstep into November, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. I am very excited for the holidays, but I am also already getting overly emotional that I'm not the "family" I wanted to be. I have my family surrounding me, but I don't have my "own" family. This may not make sense to anyone but me.

I want the loving partner, in a house with our own tree, and cookies baking in the oven. The kids running and yelling, snow ball fights, hot chocolate and nights by the fire. I want the smell of cinnamon and apples and wood and smoke and the warmth of it all to wrap around me.

I know one day I will have this picture perfect story. Or a resemblance of it. But for now I wait. I will continue to put my faith in god that he has an ultimate plan for me and im hoping that im on the right path. The last few months have been very positive. I just have to continue to look forward.