Updates..

Well now.. Been off for a bit. Emotions boiled over into ridiculous meltdown starting with the BF dumping me on my ass. Apparently in a drunken moment I made a comment about marriage. I gave him the fear of all that is crazy and made him flip. This is what he was giving me the cold shoulder for. Instead of talking to me, he let me go. :( Uber :( here.

He was thinking I was rushing into marriage after 4 months of dating when I am content with just being happy and enjoying life with him. We both have had previous bad marriages, kids, and no want to do it again. But he never asked. :(

Insert downward spiral here....4 days of no eating,no work, sleeping for hours broken by fits of sobbing uncontrollably. Apparently I adore this man and I am so frustrated that it all could have been fixed if he had talked to me. I guess we live and learn. I hope he misses me like hell. So felt like a great match. I still feel broken.

I have to get back to life tomorrow. Everyone on the planet has been trying to cheer me up. Friends, family, kids, everyone. I have the best support staff on the planet.

I will get through this. But I will hold on to a small bit of hope that he will miss me and change his mind. I still have that feeling that it is supposed to happen. Miss him.